does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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