mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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