Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
