Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
