I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
