I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
