you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize