Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
