there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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