she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
