We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize