yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
time to smoke my breakfast
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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