youre lurking in front of me
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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