I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
