My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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