actually, I'm a sock model
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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