Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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