I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
