My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize