remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
