i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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