it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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