Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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