I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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