Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
