Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
