Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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