You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
