Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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