there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
