All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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