I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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