She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
