I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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