Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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