Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
