eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
