Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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