what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
