Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
