I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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