i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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