All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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