I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
