My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
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