THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
