What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
