if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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