I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
