I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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