Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
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a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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