I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
