I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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