can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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