apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
