He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
