Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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