And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
