You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
