Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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