I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
