i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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