Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
