His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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