If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
