I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i barfeds in our rink
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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